I’m currently trapped in a hotel room, with very dodgy television in the background. I’ll chime in early – I clocked up 80 mins in the hotel gym and burnt some 1074 calories. I’ll take that. I must have a word to Apple however. The so called ‘genius’ feature, isn’t such a genius. When I am seeking music to run to, to get my groove on, and I hit Robbie Williams ‘Let Me Entertain You’ – I think it is fair to assume that I was a little surprised when I heard George Michael ‘Jesus to a Child’ in my ears. Just saying.
So what have I been doing during this time of neglect? The usual – being mum to the Trolls; celebrating birthdays (mine and The Devil’s); threw in a wedding anniversary; working; studying (pulling some decent grades – may I gloat ?); stalking The Vegemite Wife a little on her blog (Ugg boots are NOT outside footwear, and all homes should include a beer room); oh, and some, okay a little, pilates and personal training (the Pain Master and I have even been to a group exercise class – I got to punch her!).
Back to the hotel gym for a moment if I may. Why does this fine establishment feel the need to have the worlds biggest mirror in the cardio area? I understand the one where the weights are located – those meatheads love nothing more than to groan with delight every time they partake in a bicep curl and see their muscles pop up. But in the cardio section? Seriously. I do not need to see myself sweating, I can feel it, and it is disgusting. My tee shirt is still wet. 80 minutes is a long time to assess all of the faults on your body. The Kardashians are welcome to my butt – I got to see it in lycra for over an hour, and it wasn’t pretty (this raises another question – what the fuck was I wearing lycra for?). Thankfully I wear glasses and once I took them off (becasuse that warm salty water was streaming over my face) my eyesight beyond a metre or so is rubbish and I was no longer subjected to my own reflection, so I turned my attention to the only thing I was capable of actually seeing – reading the numbers ticking over on the display of the eliptical trainer that was torturing me.
I wanted to write more, but I am shattered and there is a big bed with a selection of pillows from the ‘pillow menu’ (seriously they have a pillow menu and it contains significantly less calories than the mini bar) calling my name.
I promise not to neglect you for so long again – well at least for a little bit (I’m off to China in a couple of weeks, so I suspect I’ll be busy walking the Great Wall or something).