My Deal with the Devil

It dawned on me this evening I’d signed up to the wrong forum on the 12WBT site.  I’ve been spectating in the 30+kg’s to lose forum, witnessing these amazing feats of 1, 1.5 and 2kg+ losses week in week out.  It fucks with your head.  When you’re clocking up gains and you read about others successes it really makes you question why you even bother.  And then tonight, I was online checking out posts and noticed there really wasn’t much chatter about today’s four week milestone fitness test.  A little surprising.

This led me to take a wander through the other forums, seeking out others who had completed this test.  A little voyeurism never hurt anyone. Then I found the 15-30kg to lose forum and a little light bulb went off.  I saw the light.  I had a moment.  All of a sudden I was reading posts of other people who have been eating well, sticking to the 12WBT nutrition and exercise regime and had lost only similar amounts to myself.  What a fucking relief.

The Devil has been harping on about cm’s lost and that I’m not to focus on the scales.  He doesn’t have the dashboard quick stats feature remind him daily how pathetic his attempts at shedding the kgs really has been. To win me over to his way of thinking, the Devil has put a deal on the table.  The Devil is trying to tantalise me with $100 for every 1cm I shrink.  I’m considering his offer. The Pain Master did my four week milestone fitness test and measurements tonight.  I completed an additional 10 push-ups.  In four weeks I’ve shrunk 8.5cm’s overall. If I accept his offer, he currently owes my post-challenge shopping expedition 850 cold ones.

What else have I noticed in four weeks?  Yoda keeps testing my physical limits.  Tonight I had one of those moments.  I have spent many an evening in the studio dumbfounded by how strong some of the other clients actually are.  Do you have any comprehension how much core strength it actually takes to not only lift your own body weight, but then contort it in incredibly unnatural ways, and look good while you’re doing it?  Tonight Yoda had me complete the ‘butterfly’.  Whatever you do, I urge you not to picture me as graceful, but I did it.  In my case, I’ve renamed that exercise the ‘bogan moth’.  Still, I engaged my abs.  Actually, I completed everything Yoda threw at me.  Stupidly, I wasn’t expecting what came next.  I’m not even going to try and describe the position Yoda had me in on the ‘reformer’, all I can say to you is this:  I was the one in the studio others were watching in awe of my inner strength – or was it stupidity?  Felt pretty bloody good too.

If you recall, other than being a fish, the Pike is also my Pilates nemesis.  While filling in the updated numbers for my fitness test and measurements, I checked out my goals that I had previously recorded for this challenge.  My three month goal was to master the Pike.  Note, there was nothing specific about how poised or controlled it had to look.  Drum roll please.

I completed the Pike.  I completed five of the bastards.  Yoda removed the stability stick thing, making me work harder to control the movement – like it wasn’t hard enough already?  By rep number three, I may actually have been starting to enjoy it in a weird and freakish kind of way.  I was in control, even without the stupid stick.  After number five, I’d had enough.  I had been put through the wringer. My abs and hamstrings were about to go on strike. Yoda had tested my mental (who in their right mind starts to ‘enjoy’ the Pike?) and physical boundaries, and given me pat on the back. Dare I say it, I may have actually impressed the Jedi master.  Then again, maybe not.


Shrinking - or not

4 Comments Leave a comment

  1. Congratulations on hitting your goal 2 months early.
    Bloody excellent work!

    Also, great read … 🙂


    Glenn (Glenibus)

    • In an ideal world I would remove the additional 30kgs that have taken up residence on my frame.  We’ll see how this pans out.
      Curious what your motivation would be Vegemite Wife.  Knowing you well, it will involve alcohol frivolities that you can partake in..!?

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